This is my true secret.
Ever since my Step-Mother lost her job, financially my family has been rocky which is what I expected. What I didn’t expect was the screaming matches between my Father and my Step-Mother. All day and all night, it never stopped, my only sanctuary was school. But then my Father said the only words that I will remember him for
“I wish you were never born!”
These words were a definite blow to my psyche and just a couple months earlier my Step-Mother had said to me “The only reason your here is because no one else in your family wanted you.” But the worst part is I’ve tried to stay optimistic through it all and now the house is getting foreclosed upon and there’s nothing I can do about it. Now that you’ve heard part of the story, here’s the actual secret:
I’m planning on killing myself on my 16th birthday in a place where no one can find the body.
P.S. Thank you so much for creating PostSecret
Give your independent 21 year-old self a chance to change your mind.
At 25 you may have found the nurturing friendships that become the family you make for yourself.
At 30 you might be doing important work saving others who will feel the pain you feel right now.
At 40 you might meet and marry the person who would be destroyed if you took your life at 16.
Someday you may have a teenage daughter or son who will be so lucky to have a mother who earned a loving family.
Please don’t try to solve a temporary problem with a permanent solution.
PS If you give me a mailing address, I’d like to send you a book.
I can’t trust a stranger who’s email address I found on the internet. Can you prove to me publicly who you are, I don’t care what you do. I want to accept your kindness, so please prove to me who you are.
I just edited our emails and posted them on the PostSecret facebook page. Over 1,500 have sent hopeful messages your way! I’m glad you’ll have a chance to see you are not alone.
PS I’m still happy to send you a book. I just need a mailing address.
Thank you to the marvelous, people of the PostSecret community who have given me hope for the future that I WILL live! Even if I am to have these thoughts ever again at some point when life is going terribly once more, I will read not only your emails but the comments of so many that want me to live and overcome.
With love and a firmly planted reason to live.
Goodbye and good luck to my talented summer interns Katie and Aimee.