Adoption Secrets

To: “frank” <frank@postsecret.com>

Dear Frank,

I’m not sure where to begin. I haven’t closed out my PostSecret tab in over 5 years now. It’s something that brings me comfort to see daily, that the site is not going to abandon me.

I find myself in a mental world of a mess. I was adopted at birth, and that adoption was a closed adoption. I have tried a couple of times to find my biological mother, but have been shut down by family, extended family, and even the court system here.

I do know that the parents who adopted me, are my parents. They did a fantastic job raising me and providing me with a life I would have only probably dreamed of. But it doesn’t take away the abandonment and rejection I’ve had to deal with time and time again. That hole only gets worse as I get older, my parents age, and I raise my son.

Speaking of my son, he is the only gift I knew I ever wanted in life. To be a mom. I am so blessed to be his mom and that he chose me to fulfill that role for him. But man has this been a hell of a ride. I almost died during childbirth. The pain that I’ve endured is beyond words. I feel so lucky because of my son and the fact I am still alive this coming Mother’s Day, that I am 50% excited to celebrate.

With all the trauma I have had to endure and will keep enduring until I am fixed, I just can’t find a way to express my gratitude for my biological mom. I may never get to meet her, that hole in my soul may never be filled…. But my deepest secret has always been that I want to hear her heartbeat. As an adult I would do anything to hear that heartbeat that I listened to everyday for 9 months. That heartbeat that gave me life. And chose for me to live. I am pro choice, but I am so thankful my mom chose for me to live. I wish I could hug her and thank her.

Since I can’t thank her, and I don’t have the guts to do one of the ancestry tests, I am sending you my thanks for her.

The fact your website is always there and does not abandon anyone, no matter their struggles, is something I’ll always be thankful for.

Sent from a place a love and care

~~~

To: “frank” <frank@postsecret.com>

Hi Frank!

I used the new PostSecret Searchable Archive feature and found a secret I sent to you back in either 2006 or 2007. I don’t remember exactly when I sent it, but I remember shaking as I wrote it.

I was 19 when my boyfriend came home on leave from Iraq. We had been dating for four years and on May 13, 2006, he asked me to marry him. I thought my heart was going to explode from excitement. He was the absolute love of my life and my dreams were actually coming true… But he had to go back to a war zone, reality set in, and I was suddenly terrified I wouldn’t ever see him alive again. It knocked the wind out of me, so I sent you my secret. 

He came home and in May 2007, we got married. I was 20, he was 21. We were broke and did everything ourselves. It was not a fancy wedding, but it was perfect for a couple of young kids who loved each other.

I’m 40 now, he’s 41, and we have a young son. That man is still the absolute love of my life. We’ve been through hell and back (the loss of a child, both of my parents, another deployment, multiple health issues…) but he’s my favorite human ever.

Seeing my secret again reminded me of that terrified 19 year old. I wish I could hold her and tell her that things would be okay and to plan her wedding without fear. Instead, I’ll just be grateful for what the last 19.5 years have given me. I never have to experience that fear again.

Thank you

Voicemail Secrets

Visit the online exhibition of audio secrets to hear a collection of voicemails from friends, parents, brothers, sisters, partners, loved ones. Some are funny, many are brief and heartfelt.

Listen here. Or upload your own voicemail, story, and photos.

Our profound gratitude to everyone who contributed their emotional voicemail, photos, and soulful story. Special thanks to exhibition curator, Savannah Morin, and the team at WordPress. This exhibition was made possible with the generous support of the PostSecret Patreons.

Six PostSecret Books Available Now

—–frank(@)postsecret.com—–

Dear Frank-
My boyfriend knew I was a PostSecret fan and a couple of days before Christmas this was in a package on my porch. It was the most thoughtful and unexpected gift. Thanks Rod and Frank!
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All six PostSecret books are still in hardcover are available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble or your favorite Independent bookstore. Order now in time for the Holidays. 

The Museum of Us

See the postcards on exhibition at the Museum of Us.

Get free passes to see the exhibition plus a signed proof from the first PostSecret book and join the community by becoming a ‘PostSecret Partner’ on Patreon. Details

PostSecret Live! in Australia

This is the first time a full live event has been shared online.
(Scroll down to the May 28th, 2024 post.) Free link to video

See the most extraordinary secrets and stories, learn my secret, or skip to the 64-minute mark to listen to audience secrets.

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If you are not a PostSecret Patreon member, please consider joining today for benefits like this and more.

—–frank(@)postsecret.com—–

Dear Frank,

I am the poet who wrote the poem that begins, “Fuck the poets of the past, my friends…” (Its title is “Afterthought.”) My former student published it on Postsecret years ago and it has spread to people in distant places, unknown to me until two years ago, when a woman somehow found me and told me that the poem had help her too.

I saw it posted in Germany a few years ago. So cool. Every couple years somebody writes to me too. One woman sent me two pies once and thanked me for saving her life. Apple and blueberry, crushed in the mail, but I loved every bit.

I was trying to help a few students in one small poetry class on Long Island when I shared that poem with them and today I was notified that it is a Postsecret Classic. You cannot imagine how grateful I am that I have been able to do more good than I intended to, and that I got to find out that I did so. What a gift for the soul.