—frank@postsecret.com—
Dear Frank,

It must be so strange for you to experience tiny little snapshots of so many people’s lives. You must wonder what happens after folks send in their secrets. So, here’s an update, in case you’re interested:

A long time ago, I sent in this secret. 

It was months before you posted it, so I didn’t immediately recognize it as mine. It was a surreal moment going from “Gosh, that sounds familiar” to “Wait, I wrote that!” Seeing it again helped me to see how little had changed and I think it was definitely a catalyst for introspection. 

Unfortunately, things didn’t change in the long run. He truly did want to change, but he didn’t have the capacity. His trauma was too great. He’s finally getting the help he needs, but there is no undoing the damage to our relationship.

Despite all this, I didn’t leave him. It has now been 23 years.

This isn’t exactly a happy story, but it isn’t a tragic one either. This is because I stopped waiting for him to change. Instead, I changed and I am now living my life on my terms. He is still part of my life, but he is no longer my whole life. I reclaimed my power and my agency. Today, I choose to keep him in my life because I enjoy his companionship and because his friendship is important to me. What we share isn’t exactly a marriage anymore (not by my definition of marriage, anyway) but it is still a good life. It’s complicated and it’s messy, but it’s also worthwhile.

So, that’s my update. Thanks for being our secret-keeper, Frank.

~~~

Thanks for your soulful story. I really appreciate when I get updates.

I feel very fortunate to be trusted to see so many snapshots of people’s lives. I wish that by seeing so many secrets, I could offer you some wisdom or solace. Maybe the best I can do is share some of the courageous stories similar to yours that reveal that so many of us have our own complicated and messy lives.

I hope some of the people who wrote those secrets will read your update and be inspired by your example of acceptance, agency, and change. I know I am.

A secret doesn’t have to be the end of the story.
-Frank

The ‘Museum of Us’ in San Diego has expanded the PostSecret Exhibition to include “Naked Mail”. Secrets written and mailed on objects, not postcards.

The potato and knife mailed to PostSecet with secrets are not on view, but you will be able to see the artificial banana, (packaged) condom, coconut, license plate, shirt, roller skate, the original PostSecret mailbox, and more.

To: “frank” <frank@postsecret.com>
Dear Frank-

Twelve years ago I mailed in my license plate with the message “I don’t know where my home is” scrawled on the front. I had just dropped out of college and moved across the country to live with my dad. A lot has changed since then, but some things haven’t.

My life imploded (again) and I found myself back in my dad’s house; I changed careers, graduated college, and went to grad school. But that secret has followed me for a decade, often featured on the website or exhibits.

It popped up a few weeks ago and I thought “nothing has changed, I’m still just that lost kid” and then I realized how wrong I was. I’m not sure that I feel any more at home here now than I did back then, but something has changed. I found home in myself. Finally the skin that I live in feels like enough. Thank you for being a place of growth, love, and acceptance for all these years.

-Erica

Hi Erica, 

Thanks for your secret! I remember receiving that “naked mail” over a decade ago and yes it has been shared many times; on the web, in my PostSecret talks, and in museums from the Smithsonian to the Museum of Us. 

I know many people have felt a connection to your secret and I believe many will now relate to your story behind it. Courage is contagious and I believe your story will inspire others to tell their truth – and take that first step in their journey. 

Your secret definitely has a home, so glad you found yours. 

Be well,
-Frank

Visit the online exhibition of audio secrets to hear a collection of voicemails from friends, parents, brothers, sisters, partners, loved ones. Some are funny, many are brief and heartfelt.

Listen here. Or upload your own voicemail, story, and photos.

Our profound gratitude to everyone who contributed their emotional voicemail, photos, and soulful story. Special thanks to exhibition curator, Savannah Morin, and the team at WordPress. This exhibition was made possible with the generous support of the PostSecret Patreons.

—–frank(@)postsecret.com—–

Dear Frank-
My boyfriend knew I was a PostSecret fan and a couple of days before Christmas this was in a package on my porch. It was the most thoughtful and unexpected gift. Thanks Rod and Frank!

All six PostSecret books are still in hardcover are available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble or your favorite Independent bookstore. Order now in time for the Holidays. 

See the postcards on exhibition at the Museum of Us.

Get free passes to see the exhibition plus a signed proof from the first PostSecret book and join the community by becoming a ‘PostSecret Partner’ on Patreon. Details